The following are selected and edited notes from my working notebook:

Fri, 5th February 1999
Split into two groups and looked at Act 3. (The courtroom scene). We looked at the meaning of the extract we were given, discussing the themes of witch hunting and how unfair the trials were. Showed a representation of the Glen Hoddle 'trials'. We then watched the other group perform their extract, and we just talked about what we had just discussed.

I think it was unclear as to what we were suppose to be doing. It was like an unofficial audition, with which I felt was unfair. We were told to write down the names of the characters and put beside this the name of the actor with whom you wished to play the role. Because this seemed unfair, and I didn’t know the characters that well. However, I have been cast as John Proctor and looking through the script, it would appear that I have landed in a huge and demanding role.

Fri, 12th February
Discussed the characters and some others went through the script and began to edit parts of the text and ‘merge’ some characters together. (We don’t have enough actors for all the roles). Cheever and Herrick's lines are merged. Giles has had his lines merged with Francis’, and Thomas Putnam, has had his lines merged with Ann Putnam.

Fri, 19th February
'Elizabeth' and myself looked at the opening of Act 2 to try a find the right ‘feel’ for the mood, with the aid of a close friend - you know who you are! We sat together and attempted an improvisation. I couldn’t get into it simply because I don’t know the character yet.

Fri, 26th February
Worked on the opening of Act 2. Attempted to stage it and several people tried to help get the right amount of anger for John Proctor. I must admit that I don’t see the point in trying to this when we’re reading from the script, following stage directions and trying to get a feel for it. And I don’t agree with the amount of anger that Proctor is showing towards Elizabeth, stressed by those who were present during the rehearsal. John isn’t always yelling his head off. The anger builds up during the Act, and isn’t fully expressed straight away.

I’ve come away from the rehearsal feeling very angry with myself because I couldn’t achieve what they wanted me do to.

Fri, 5th March
Looked at Act 1. Things were much better today. Concentrated on my section with Abigail. It was decided that they should kiss instead of Proctor walking out just before Betty begins her screaming. This works well.

Tue, 9th March
Some of us worked on our part in Act 1. (When Betty starts screaming after Proctor and Abigail’s kiss, and they rush in). At first we were shouting our heads off, then we were leaning over the bed with Betty in it, then decided that we have Putnam sat beside the bed, Parris stood stage left with myself and Giles in between. We made the anger rise more, but kept the scene in hushed tones. I’m finding it difficult to this. I’m talking in the back of my throat and it strains my voice after a while.

Thu, 11th March
Rehearsed in the Rose. Worked our way through Act 2.

Fri, 12th March
Worked on Act 2 with Elizabeth, Proctor and Hale. We also had a go at staging Act 3.

Wed, 17th March
We didn’t get very much done this evening. However, we did play concentration games - staring at each other, dot on floor, story telling and a couple of rounds of wink murder.

Fri, 19th March
Worked on the end of Act 3. Hard work. Discussed our feelings about the play so far. All I wanted to know was whether I was getting it right or not. They said I was, but I still feel that I’ve a long way to go. We also talked about working on our characters more. (I find it difficult when working on characterisation).

Fri, 26th March
Wasn’t used today. Our tutor gave us a few sheets to read, responding on the rehearsals so far. I’m not feeling too good today. I’ve just got a bad feeling about something – I don’t know what. Anyway, I’m going home this afternoon for a well deserved rest. (I need it!)

Sun, 18th April
Not a good Easter at all. Grandad died the day after I got home on the Saturday and it hasn’t really suck in yet. I haven’t done any work and I haven’t even look at the play.

Tried to work on Act 2’s opening. Attempted improvisations to get the right feel for the Act. Looked at Act 4 – not bad going. I felt that Proctor’s ‘Leave me my name’ speech went well. I honestly felt that I had finally got somewhere today. However, I am finding it difficult to get in the mood things. It’s as if today has never happened. I know I’m sat here writing this, but it feels so unreal.

Tue, 20th April
Worked on the end of Act 2. Hard work – everything felt flat. Looked at the argument in Act 1 and in Act 3 when Elizabeth is brought on. Feeling very tired.

Wed, 21st April
Not many turned up. Looked at Act 1.

Thu, 22nd April
Looked at the end of Act 4 and ran Act 3

Fri, 23rd April
Ran Act 3 again. Feeling a lot more confidant in this act now.

Mon, 26th April
We worked hard on Act 3, and looked at the opening of Act 4. Today has been the hardest rehearsal yet for me. My mind keeps jumping all over the place – back to Easter, back to rehearsals. To be absolutely honest with myself – I’m finding it very difficult to carry on anymore. I am so tired.

Tue, 27th April
Ran Acts 3, 4 and then 1. Went back and worked again on Act 3. Spent the rest of the day learning lines on my own.

Wed, 28th April
Spent all day learning lines and then we worked on Act 2 and the section with Hale, Elizabeth and Proctor. 'Hale' – and myself stayed behind and worked on longer.

Thu, 29th April
I feel that today I’m ‘waking up’. For the past few weeks everything has felt like a bad dream, as though nothing has happened. Everything, even when I laid in bed at night, didn’t seem real. But today, 4 weeks after Grandad’s funeral, I finally feel that I’m coming back to my senses. (So to say). So, I sat in the gardens learning lines until the rehearsal – and everyone was tired. We re-worked Abigail’s and Proctor’s section (3 kisses now!), and worked on the opening of Act 1. Ran through Act 3 and gave up.

Fri, 30th April
Ran Act’s 1 and 2. In particular the end of Act 2. (We’ve only done this once before).

Sat, 1st May
Ran Act 2 and got all messed up. People becoming stressed. Changed Act 4 with Elizabeth and Proctor. When we ran it, and felt that there was a lot more emotion there.

Sun, 2nd May
In the theatre. Helped put the set together and looked at all the Acts, but not in the right order. Tried on costume – this helped to get into the character more.

Mon, 3rd May
Ran Act 3 and introduced more ‘mummering,’ between those who aren’t speaking. Ran the whole play and was very tired. Act 2 was too ‘high’ in energy and we looked at that after the run.

Tue, 4th May
First night. It ran well, although I didn’t feel there was enough energy and Act 2 seemed to drag. We missed a huge chunk of Act 3. (Maybe because a member of the cast, (who I shall not name) - not believing in the superstition - said ‘Macbeth’, several times in the dressing room before we went on!)

Wed, 5th May
Second night. Went better. I felt as though the voice was going. I did cry this time at the end of Act 4. (Although I almost choked on Elizabeth's hair when she runs over to Proctor. Even though I was very nearly sick, I managed to remove the offending hairs and carried on!)

The audience enjoyed it very much. We warmed up more this time too.

Thu, 6th May
Told to ‘bring it down’ for the sake of the external examiner. (Although they never turned up!) The first two acts felt as thought the energy was slipping away and I lost a couple of lines. I don’t know why – this was the first time this had happened. But I carried on and I didn’t let this put me off. Acts 3 and 4 were the best we’d ever performed.

Of all the nights, I felt that this one was the one time I really felt in control of what I was doing. The other nights I let myself be taken by the emotion and feelings, but this time it felt different – I can’t describe it at all.